“Ah”, said the golf pro as he nods. “Your stance is far too wide.” ———-Dirty Cart. If a bird poos on your golf cart, don’t ever take her golfing again. ———-Missing Ball. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough? Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. ———-Golf Addiction. A couple have just gotten married.
A Louie Spence: An unbelievable iron. An Arthur Scargill: A great strike but a poor result. A Ladyboy: Looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems. A Saddam Hussain: Go from bunker to bunker. A Red October: Underwater and you won’t find it. A Cuban: Ball needed one more revolution.
Hitting the ball into the hole in one swing of the club. Afraid of The Dark: When the putted ball refuses to fall into the hole. Airmail: A golf shot which travels a considerably longer distance than planned. Albatross (aka Double Eagle):Estimated Reading Time: 9 mins
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt." Which is …
Are you looking for Golf slogans, phrases & one-liners? In this post, we are going to share with you 65+ Golf slogans, chants & one-liners. Show the world how much you love this sport or express your feelings using these slogans. You can also support your favorite player using these slogans & lines. Feel free […]
Feb 13, 2020 · Knee-knocker: A challenging, short (or shortish) putt - one you should make but are scared you might miss. Ladies Playday: A tournament date set aside for a golf club's women's association. This term is a leftover from the era in golf when, at some clubs, women were restricted to only a few tee times during a week.
Aug 29, 2018 · In the mood for a laugh? Here is a collection of golf puns, one-liners and other short funnies. What does that mean? That means that we have one-liners, two-liners and even a few three-liners.But mostly, it means the jokes here are of the short variety.
How many times have you heard one of your golf buddies utter a golf term that brought a smile to your face or busted everyone up right there on the tee? Brand new golf balls are attracted to water, and the power of the attraction is in direct proportion to how much the balls cost. Yanked It: Another way to say you pulled a golf shot. Everyday I'm Schauffele. By Brent Kelley Brent Kelley. Pinseeker: When your golf shot never leaves the pin. A golf shot which is hit quite high and short, which upon contact with the Green, rolls very little and stops. Joe Pesci : A difficult 5-foot putt. The player can move the ball without penalty. This goes on for the remainder of the week with Clare winning every round of golf. When trying to reach the Green could be a risky shot and it is a lot safer to hit a drive or fairway shot short of the Green. Greenies: Hitting a green in regulation: One shot on a par 3, two shots on par 4, three shots on a Par 5. Chunk: Hitting the ground very hard thus taking a big honking divot out of the turf. What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? W Worm burner: A golf shot not a putt in which the ball never gets but a few feet off the ground. Dawn Patrol : Golfers or groups of golfers who prefer to play as early as possible in the morning - right at the crack of dawn if possible. Texas Wedge. What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? What does a golfer do on his day off? Achieve more with each and every round you play. Golf is what you play when you're too out of shape to play softball. The 19th hole. They're white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more. Bob pulls out a large BIC cigarette lighter about 12 inches long. Drained: Slang term for having sunk a putt. Honours: The right to tee off first based on having the best score on the last hole or being furthest away from the hole. Tends to test a golfer. Chunk : Flub, fat shot , hit it fat. Swing Oil: Beer. Same as a mulligan, in other words. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Nuked: When you gain a greater distance than your average or typical distance. In the Golf of Mexico! Longer jokes and story-style jokes can be found on our Golf Jokes section, and you can also check out a collection of Tiger Woods jokes. Things can get messy if you start playing poorly and multiple presses open! Chipping: Short shot usually made from just off the green. Because he thought every day he needed to play around. R Rainmaker: A golf shot with a very high trajectory. Wife: I'm sick and tired of your obsession with golf! But mostly, it means the jokes here are of the short variety. Golfer: I'm ready to go for this par-5 green in two, but there's still a group on the green. Dew Sweepers: Reference to players in a Professional Tournament who have the earliest Tee times when the dew is still on the course , in the third or fourth round of the tournament. The turn: The halfway point in a round of golf. Taking advantage of the late start, he decides to fit in a round of golf every morning before work. Of course, "freaking" is often rendered in another way. So feel free to tweet us with suggestions for additions.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? Putting: The golf stroke used to roll the ball on the green. James Joyce : A putt that is hard to read. Fantastic 4-some. Husband: Of course I do! Caddie: This isn't the golf course, sir, we left that an hour ago. Drive: The first shot taken at the teeing ground at each hole. Rainmaker : A golf shot with a very high trajectory. Hot: A shot that goes faster than intended. In the Leather: A putted ball close enough to the hole to be accepted by the other players. Stiffing an iron is applauded, stiffing the cart girl is not. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees. Yanked It: Another way to say you pulled a golf shot. Golfers who make up the dawn patrol are the first ones to get on the course. A: Because all the other 4-letter words were already taken. Golfer: Hey caddie, would you wade into that pond and see if you can find my ball? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. If you golf on election day, be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot. A golfer who says he never cheats is also a liar. Wash your balls. How does a brunette keep her husband from a blond working at a golf course? A golf format where the goal is to win individual holes rather than tallying the total of all the strokes. A ball that is in an unfortunate lie and dubious whether the ball can be struck well for a good golf shot. Who talks way too much, or is always needling other golfers or acting like a know-it-all? Forward tees: The teeing ground located closest to the green. Golf balls are like eggs. And following are many more golf slang terms defined:. In case they get a hole in one. It was the same day I sank that foot putt. Not for the easily offended, this selection of Dirty Golf Jokes are suitable for adults as they are bit rude — but are sure to get a laugh. If you squint. The player can move the ball without penalty. Dammit: Nothing clever here, but undoubtedly the most common and beloved golf term. P Pin aka The Stick : The flagstick on the green standing inside the cup. Small groups of golfers might even develop their own terms, unique to their rounds. Fizzo : When you are still out after your first putt. More jokes pages will be added over the coming months if you like this style of humor. John being a complete gentlemen offers Clare a lift home to which she accepts. Same as a Danny DeVito. Fried Egg : A golf ball that has plugged, or buried, in a sand bunker, so that the top of the ball resembles the yolk in a fried egg. Flyer: A golf shot that literally flies too far. Two longtime golf buddies were standing on a tee box overlooking a river, getting ready to hit their tee shots. Albatross: The rarest of all birds, an albatross is playing the hole three under par like making a 2 on a par-5, or acing a par Velcro : Very slow greens, in terms of green speed. Hangman : A score of 9 on a hole. Skull: A stroke made above the equator of the ball which is mis-hit, resulting in a line-drive trajectory. Beware of thieves.
Many sports have their own vocabulary and golf is no exception. Learning golfing terminology can be like learning a foreign language at times. Here at Golf Drives, we have put together an A-Z list of our favourite and the most commonly used golf phrases and terms, so you can be completely prepared the next time you hit the green. We can help you book your travel from the airport straight to your golf resort or hole course, wherever you are. Simply fill out our transfer form to get an instant quote. Our blog is full of resources designed to help you out on your next golfing trip. Skip to content. Ace: Hitting the ball into the hole in one swing of the club. Afraid of The Dark: When the putted ball refuses to fall into the hole. Airmail: A golf shot which travels a considerably longer distance than planned. Albatross aka Double Eagle : This means a score of three strokes under Par, which as you can imagine is very rare. All square: Tied score in match play. Barkies: Hitting the golf ball at trees and obtaining a good score despite it. Beach: Term used for a sand bunker. Birdie: A score of one less than par. Bogey: A score of one over par. Bracket: To be prepared for a different situation where you need to hit a certain shot you will need to take additional clubs — one higher and one lower known as a Bracket. Buzzard aka Double Bogey : A score of two over par. C Cabbage aka Spinach : If you hit the ball into inescapable thick rough. Casual water: A build-up of water on the golf course after heavy rain that is not part of a water hazard. The player can move the ball without penalty. Cat Box: A sand bunker Chicken Stick: If faced with a difficult shot, a golfer will choose a play-it-safe club that is within his capabilities to properly complete the shot. Chipping: Short shot usually made from just off the green. Cuban: Putting action where the ball stops short of dropping into the cup. Cup: The hole on the green — 4. D Dance floor: Refers to the green. Dawn patrol: Golfers who play at sunrise. Dew Sweepers: Reference to players in a Professional Tournament who have the earliest Tee times when the dew is still on the course , in the third or fourth round of the tournament. Dog Track aka Goat track : When a golf course is in poor condition. Dribbler aka Fat Shot : When a shot that only goes forward a few feet. Duck Hook aka Snap Hook : A ball that curves right to left on a low trajectory and off target. Divot: The small chunk of turf that is dislodged when a club head strikes the ground as a player hits the ball. Drained: Slang term for having sunk a putt. Draw: A golf shot for a right-handed golfer where the ball slowly moves right to left. Drive: The first shot taken at the teeing ground at each hole. Duff: A bad shot. E Eagle: A score of two under par. Executive course: A golf course that is shorter and has a lower par than regular golf courses suitable for beginner golfers and juniors. F Fade aka Cut Shot : A golf shot right handed golfer in which the ball gradually moves left to right. Fairway: The centre, short-mown portion of a golf hole in between the teeing ground and the green. First tee: Where a round of golf play begins. Flyer: Hit from the rough, a ball which goes a lot further than envisioned. Fly the green: A shot that goes over the green. Fore: Shouted when the ball is heading towards someone. Forward tees: The teeing ground located closest to the green. Flop shot: A golf shot which is hit quite high and short, which upon contact with the Green, rolls very little and stops. Flub: A terrible shot which causes a loss in scoring. Four-jack: On any given Green taking four putts to get the ball in the hole. Fried Egg aka Plugged : Where only the top half of the ball is visible when buried in a Sandtrap. Frog Hair: Closely mown grass surrounding the Green. G Gimme: A shot so close that only a short putt is needed, and the other players agree can count automatically without being played.